Last Monday, I went with my bbte friends to “palengke” at Sto. Tomas. We walked under the beautiful crystal night sky. I noticed that the three of them were leading the way and Donna was the only company I’d got. It felt really good with someone beside me who never left out. However, I felt the craziest emotions for a guy, vain sanity.
I understand what kez was trying to do. She wrapped around her arms to arlyn and cha and walked faster for us to be left behind. She was trying all that she could do to go far away from me. I felt vain because for her I had no significance that time. Why did I say so? Every moment we were together that night, She never looked into my eyes and talked to me. I obviously had the worst night of my life. I was there but it looked like I possessed invisibility power. Having beside the person I always dream about whom never there was a vain sanity of my life.
I decided to keep quiet to kill couple of minutes. I played game at my cp with sanity of escape. I looked at those sizzling hot barbeques grizzled in the night. Then, I glance to them and everybody was laughing. So I tried to put a smile. Was it ok? Deep inside my heart, a pain was slowly growing in millions. I stayed frozen in my sit watching them made the candle light of amazing story. I couldn’t follow. Where I was?
The vain sanity which she wanted me to realize was the only thing I misunderstood. I asked myself, “what if I was him? (A guy who had the magical power of love that touched her heart) Would she talk to me that night? Would I be heard? I guess so. Too bad I was not him.”
When I started to think for answers, teary eyes rained in my pillow. And all that I remember was her name. But still I couldn’t whisper her name “kez” even in a short while. She said that love came naturally. Maybe, that’s the reason she couldn’t talk to me in natural way. Cause simply, she couldn’t love me…